


Ghost in the Stars

by Skye_The_Peachy



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Gay Oma Kokichi, Grieving, M/M, Momota Kaito [mentioned], Sad, Stargazing, Tired Saihara Shuichi, ouchie my feelies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-14
Updated: 2020-05-14
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:13:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24186445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skye_The_Peachy/pseuds/Skye_The_Peachy
Summary: Shuichi is awake at 3:45am.
Relationships: Oma Kokichi/Saihara Shuichi
Comments: 9
Kudos: 44





	Ghost in the Stars

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfic I've posted. Its uh, it's okay. I meant it to be a slow punch, but it ended up hitting really hard. Like, right in the throat. I'm not good at writing emotional moments or romantic moments, so I'm sorry if it comes off as rushed or lacking in detail. Saiouma is a comfort ship of mine, so I love coming up with stories like this.
> 
> IMPORTANT NOTE!:  
> Anything in parentheses is Shuichi's Inner monologue in the situation. I imagine he has a lot of these, being a detective.

It was a long night. Kokichi was on the bed next to me. It was 3:45 in the morning. The window was open, and the thin curtains billowed into the room with every gentle breeze. It was chilly, around 50 or so degrees, and when I looked over to the small human curled up next to me, I smiled. His small frame was faintly outlined in the way the blanket fell across him. Part of his face was covered with a blanket, making him have a childlike and innocent aura. Despite that, the flush on his face from alcohol was still there. I was sitting up, a white shirt hanging loosely on my shoulders. My hair was a mess, some bits sticking straight up, some glued to my face. I knew I had bags under my eyes, and I didn’t need a mirror to tell me I looked exhausted. The TV was on, a random game show from a few years ago playing for background noise. When I looked out the window, I could still see the night, bright as ever, shining into the room and illuminating the body next to me. I loved him so much, and was excited to spend our lives together. He looked so peaceful, the rise and fall of his chest rhythmically calming me. I ran my hand over his hair, tracing down to his face, running my thumb over his mouth. He was ice old, just a little warm. It hurt my hands.

Me and Kokichi had been drinking earlier that evening. It was 9:43pm when we started. I never drank enough to get drunk, and I could never tell if Kokichi was actually drunk, sober, or lying. I found it cute either way, because by the end of the night he would end up in bed with me anyway. I had a few shots of whiskey (in which Kokichi called me plain, and I retorted I wasn't). He got really clingy and obnoxious when he was drunk. He pulled my hair, attempted not once, not twice, but three times to pants me. He succeeded on the third try. I was only a little tipsy, but Kokichi was flat out wasted. And just like always, we ended up in our bed, cuddling and kissing until he decided to pursue me. His hand trailed up my shirt, outlining my hip bones with his delicate fingers. Then he ran his hand up to my stomach, gently going over my navel and across what abs I do have (I swear, I have some, I promise). After tracing my stomach, he ran his hands up to my pecks, caressing and tracing them. When I finally realized what was happening, my hand was over my mouth and my face was flushed. I could smell the alcohol on his breath as he took things too far. Sometimes I would let him take it further, but tonight I didn’t. I had other plans I wanted to pursue, and didn’t want to waste energy on this (not that sleeping with him was a waste of energy, of course). 

After pushing away Kokichi’s advances, and hearing his protest, I grabbed his hands in one of mine. I felt his cool and soft fingers against my mine, which were calloused with work. His hands were delicate and feminine, slender and small compared to mine. I was able to hold both his hands in one of mine. I felt my heart skip a beat. My other hand went to his face, running my thumb across his cheek and bottom lip, only to feel him nuzzle his cheek into my hand. He had small lips, nothing special. They were special to me, though. I could trace them forever. I looked at him in the eyes. His were closed and content, as if he could live in my cupped hand forever. It took around 30 seconds for him to notice me staring at him, and when he did his eyes opened slowly and half lidded. His eyes were a deep and inhuman purple. They looked like little galaxies, and I could see myself reflected in them. He was good at hiding his emotions, but I could read his eyes. His expression was bare and empty, but his eyes said a million words. Before I knew it, leaned down to his face. I kissed him, slowly but passionately. His lips were soft and small against mine. Not that mine were anything great. It only took a few minutes before he let me kiss any deeper, and I was able to taste him. I could taste the drinks he had a bit ago, they were fruity and tangy. He was also a little bitter. It was a nice taste, one I would permanently engrave in my memory. At that time, it was 11:34pm.

After our little kissing session, I was flushed and panting. He giggled and attempted again to remove my clothes, but I resisted and got up. I made him put his shoes on. Despite his protest, he put his purple slip ons on. I had my white t-shirt on, navy blue sweats and a hoodie with slippers. He had one of my shirts on (which was too big and kept sliding off his shoulders), a pair of gym shorts, slip ons, and a mess of ruffled purple hair. The bed wasn’t made, and actually was a big mess, the blankets basically on the floor. The TV was on with whatever background noise we had going on (some random cartoon show we didn’t really like but were too lazy to change). There were clothes all over the floor, from the closet to the bed, and most of them were dirty. The window was wide open, letting the breeze in. We had thin white curtains hanging, and as the wind came in, they would puff up and deflate. There were a few water bottles on my side of the bed, and a few bottles and cans of Panta on Kokichi's side. Our trashcan was overflowing. One day I’m really going to need to clean in here.

Kokichi and I went downstairs to our front yard. The porch light was on and flickering. It was chilly, a little breezy, but a clear and open sky. Our house wasn't anything special, a little town house in the middle of nowhere. After everything we've gone through, living alone felt like the best idea. I stood there for a decent bit of time thinking about the house, our past, what the future could hold before Kokichi grabbed my arm. He looked at me, puzzled and shivering. It was pretty cold out, but I felt okay in my sweat pants and hoodie. I probably should've made him change into something warmer, but it would've given away the surprise. I smiled (albeit a little mischievously) and took him to a ladder on the side of the house. It was an old metal ladder, creaky but stable enough to hold him (and hopefully me). He looked a little alarmed, but intrigued. The ladder led to the roof of our little house, and it went around 22 feet tall. I already knew he wouldn’t say no to me if I asked him to climb it, and since I've given no explanation as to why we were out here, I just kept my mouth shut as he struggled to figure me out. His perception and intuition weren’t on peak due to his intoxication. It was cute to see him flustered, even if he wasn't outwardly showing it.

I started to climb the ladder, almost slipping off at the halfway point due to the dark. I squealed (like a man, I promise) and I could hear Kokichi gasp under me. I got myself stable and gave him a thumbs up, finishing my ascent up and waiting for him to start. He looked a little nervous and wobbly, but started climbing. He took his time, carefully placing his feet, one after another on the bars and working his way up. Once he was high enough, I helped him up by grabbing his arm to hoist him up. He giggled at me, a little shaken from the nerves of climbing. Immediately after he smiled mischievously before leaning back just over the ledge of the roof. I gasped, assuming his balance was off from the alcohol and yanked him to me by the front of his shirt. His head bumped into my chest and he wrapped his skinny arms around me. He busted out in laughter, almost cackling. He had one of his hands on the drain gutter, supporting his weight and preventing him from falling. I guess he had his balance the whole time. I can feel my face flush as I let go of him and stand up. The roof is uneven under my feet, a decent slant. It’s basically perfect.

I get Kokichi to stand up, him still laughing at his little prank. I give him a very gentle shove, and he flails his arms and grabs me by my shirt. His eyes were wide with a mixture of confusion, excitement, and panic. He wouldn't have fallen off the roof, but would've been/was stunned. He stayed clung to me for a few minutes, and I couldn't help but stare. I mentally note that the shirt he was wearing slipped off his shoulder, exposing his flesh in the moonlight and making him look eerily transparent. It was a special kind of beautiful. His legs were skinny and pale, just like the rest of him. His shorts hung loosely around his knees. After I noted how amazing he looked into my memory, I carefully walk us to a specific part of the roof. This one side was slightly less slanted then the others. I take off the hoodie I was wearing and lay it down, as flat and wide as I can get it, then sit down next to it. When I look up, Kokichi has his head tilted in confusion. I patted the hoodie. His eyes lit up in realization. He sat down next to me, on the hoodie. After deciding that sitting was purely sinful, he decided to lay down instead. He was still on the hoodie, his legs barely off of it. I looked up at the sky. It was bright, an array of lights dancing along the dome of the horizon surrounding us. My mind briefly thought of Kaito, a close friend of mine. He loved the stars, or at least, he used too.

After I felt my eyes well up with tears at that thought, I felt like someone was looking at me. I looked back down at Kokichi, who was watching me. He wore a small smile on his delicate face, his eyes reflecting the stars and making him look playful. His purple hair was frayed around him, some strands framing his face. His shoulder was exposed, never having corrected the shirt (I believe he grew tired of trying). He was shivering. Of course he was. I felt dumb. Obviously it would be cold, and the jacket I brought was being used as a blanket to protect from fiberglass. Evaluating my options, I picked the only reasonable one. But I guess Kokichi beat me to it.

I felt cold fingers grab my arm, and gently pull me. I looked over, Kokichi’s expression bare. He did this when he was being honest. His eyes told me he wanted me. I followed the pull of his arm, and his expression changed to a small smile. I wrapped my arms around him and laid down, where one of my arms was being used as a pillow, one was across his chest, and his head was in the crook of my shoulder. I could feel the rise and fall of his chest against me, and his heart beat on my arm. I looked up to the sky again, and was immediately captivated by the gleam of the night. It was an intoxicating view, and I felt like I was getting drunk on the night sky. To the upper left of my view, I could see the milky way. A mix of oranges, pinks, and blues were layered across the sky like a delicate painting. I had a very hard time believing that every individual speck was a different star, light years away. If it weren’t for Kokichi laying on me, I felt like I would’ve floated away. I picked out constellations I could see and whispered them to Kokichi. I could hear his laughs and giggles so clearly, as if it echoed in my head. Echos. We laid there for hours, pointing out the stars we liked, the constellations we knew, and taught each other some facts about the night sky. It was 2:53am when Kokichi fell asleep on me.

After looking at the stars for so long, I had felt Kokichi’s breath still. He was out, but not cold. His face was flushed, the alcohol still in his system. I smiled, taking in everything I could from the situation. The sky was bright, illuminating everything. Kokichi’s small body was curled against me, his face half buried in my shirt. His hair was a mess, as it always was. He was wearing a small smile. His hands were clutching my chest. The roof was slanted. The trees in the area were gently swaying in the wind. I took a mental picture, to never forget the moment. By the time I stopped gazing at him, it was 3:32am.

I woke Kokichi up, gently kissing him awake. It took only but a few seconds for me to feel him kiss me back, one of his small hands gently cupping my cheek. If felt impossible to pull away. He smiled in the kiss and pulled away slowly and yawned. He was mentally checked out for the night, so I helped him off the roof. He was able to make his way down, but since I went down first, I was able to pick him up off of the last few rungs. I held him on my torso, either of his legs on my sides, his head on my left shoulder and his arms around my neck. I looked up at the sky again, a last time for that night. Kokichi was probably done with me just staring around and kissed my cheek as a sign to get moving. I carried him inside. I popped off my shoes by the door, but decided I’ll just take Kokichi’s off upstairs. I heard him grumble something, then kick his feet in a lazy attempt to get his shoes off now. I just laughed and kept moving, carrying him up the stairs. We made it up to the room with no issues, and I laid Kokichi down on the bed. I took off his shoes, in which he grumbled again and gently kicked me. I giggled and tossed them on the stack of dirty clothes. I picked him up and laid him down on his side of the bed. I pulled the covers up to his shoulders, and he proceeded to curl up and pull them to his face. He looked… peaceful. His face was still flushed. The room was cold. The curtains billowed. The TV was on for background noise. It was 3:45 in the morning.

I wasn’t ready for bed yet, and decided to go to the bathroom. I maneuvered my way along the clothes on the floor. When I turned back to look at Kokichi, he was resting peacefully right where I left him. I went through the bedroom door. The floor on the way to the bathroom was freezing under my feet, and my legs and arms felt heavy. While I wasn’t tired enough to sleep, I felt exhausted. Insomnia. I reached the bathroom and opened the door. A gust of cold wind came from it, causing me to visibly shiver before entering.

When I looked in the mirror, I saw myself. My face was flushed and puffy from hours of crying. I was crying? I touched my face, it was warm and wet. My eyes were only a little bloodshot, since I wasn't sobbing. The bags under my eyes were extreme. How many nights in a row was I awake? Two nights or... Two weeks? My hair was disheveled and matted. I knew I would never get these knots out on my own. Maybe Kokichi could?.. My face looked sunken in, like I hadn't eaten in a few weeks. My body looked smaller then I last remembered it being. I continued to examine myself. I poked and prodded my ribs, hips and back. When I finally looked back at my face, there was an endless stream of tears falling down, making my shirt visibly wet. I took of my shirt and saw it was dirty. I tossed it on the floor next to my other dirty clothes, I looked like a mess. I guess it was only a matter of time before I saw myself like this. How many weeks had it been?

I went back to my room. The floor on the walk back felt 10 times colder then it did originally, and it physically made my joints ache. I could feel the cold pierce through me. I felt so old. I reached my bedroom door. I looked down at the metal handle. It would be cold. It would be freezing. I grabbed it and turned it anyway. The door creaked open with resistance. The room was not the same as I remember.

The bed was empty. There was no mess of clothes on the floor, rather a mess of wrappers and soda cans. The window was shut. The TV was off. Everything was still. It smelt musty. I walked over to my bed, feeling tears streaming down my face again. They wouldn't stop, and I could feel my whole body shaking. Goosebumps covered my torso and arms, completely exposed to the air. I was freezing. Why wasn't he here? Ah, that's right. His side was empty, and it would always be. I ran my hands along the cold covers. It felt like knives in my finger's joints, and I kept doing it until I felt like I could no longer bend my fingers. Warm and wet tears fell onto my chest and I heaved over into a ball on the covers. Kokichi Oma was no longer alive. He died 3 weeks ago.

“I…. I'm so sorry… I can’t move on, Kokichi…” The words felt so heavy coming out of me. I couldn't acknowledge it. It happened so fast. Too fast. The cold pierced my skin as I remained hunched over in the covers. I had nothing left.

That was the last thought I had before I collapsed from exhaustion.

**Author's Note:**

> For notes, a few things come to my mind
> 
> -in this story, only the survivors are actually alive. Shuichi has a hard time processing that hes alone, hence why he relives a night with Kokichi and why Kaito being dead is briefly brushed over.
> 
> -This isn't an official AU, imagine it like one without the killing game, but everyone in it still died. I wrote the story without coming up with one.
> 
> -50 degrees Fahrenheit is 10 degrees Celsius.


End file.
